On September 6th, our lives changed completely when our dad, Dan, was admitted to St. Mary’s Hospital in Rochester after experiencing a rapid and severe decline in his health.
He had lost a significant amount of weight and had become severely malnourished. He was struggling to eat, unable to walk on his own, and we knew something was seriously wrong. What we thought would be an admission to figure out what was causing his decline turned into devastating news for our entire family.
During his hospital stay, we learned that our dad has terminal Stage 4 lung cancer that has spread throughout his body and into multiple vital organs.
One of the most urgent concerns was the cancer that had spread to his brain, the back of his neck/skull, and his throat. He also developed a dangerous buildup of fluid around his heart that required an emergency pericardiocentesis to drain the fluid and relieve the pressure on his heart.
On September 14th, Dad was discharged from the hospital so he could begin radiation treatment. The goal was to target the tumors in his brain and the back of his skull, helping slow their growth and hopefully shrink them enough to improve his balance and ability to eat.
For the next week and a half, our family was constantly traveling between Rochester and Red Wing for back-to-back appointments, radiation treatments, and physical therapy. We rented an Airbnb in Rochester from September 14th through October 1st so Dad could remain close to Mayo Clinic and receive the care he needed.
After completing five radiation treatments, with his last treatment on September 22nd, we finally started seeing small signs of improvement. His appetite began to come back, and we were able to watch him regain some mobility. Seeing our dad move around with a walker was a HUGE improvement from the day we brought him into the hospital unable to walk.
For the first time in weeks, we had a little bit of hope.
We were scheduled to meet with the chemotherapy oncology team on September 30th to determine whether Dad would be a candidate for chemotherapy and to discuss what treatment options might still be available to him.
Unfortunately, everything changed again.
Beginning around September 27th, Dad experienced another rapid decline. We had to rush him back to the emergency room, where doctors discovered that fluid was once again building up around his heart. His oxygen levels and blood pressure began to drop, and he required another emergency procedure to drain the fluid.
He is now in the Cardiovascular Intensive Care Unit (CICU), facing several serious complications on top of his cancer.
Our family is now preparing for a pericardial window surgery, a procedure that would create an opening to allow fluid around his heart to drain more continuously and hopefully prevent the dangerous pressure from repeatedly building up.
He is also currently dealing with:
- A blood clot in his left foot
- Pneumonia
- A serious infection related to eating and swallowing, which is contributing to fluid buildup in his lungs and around his heart
- And, of course, the ongoing battle against his terminal cancer
This past month has been one of the most heartbreaking and overwhelming experiences our family has ever faced.
Dad is a husband, a father, and the glue that holds our family together. For my mom, this has been especially devastating. My parents have been together for 35 years, and in all those years, they have hardly ever been apart. They have built their entire life together, and now my mom is having to face the possibility of losing her husband and the person she has spent more than half of her life beside.
Watching her navigate this has been heartbreaking. Her whole world feels like it is slowly crumbling around her as she watches the person she loves most fight through so much pain. She is scared, overwhelmed, and trying to be strong while facing something no spouse should ever have to go through.
More than anything, please keep my mom in your prayers, too. Pray for strength, comfort, peace, and courage as she walks through this unimaginable period of watching her husband slowly become more ill. She needs just as much love and support right now as Dad does.
Right now, some of us have had to step away from work to be with Dad, advocate for him, help coordinate his care, and make sure he is never facing this alone. We have also had the added expenses of traveling back and forth to Rochester, temporary housing, food, medical-related expenses, and simply trying to keep our family together while we spend as much time as possible by his side.
We don’t know what the coming days or weeks will bring.
We are trying to remain hopeful, but we also have to face the possibility that we may be nearing the time when we have to say goodbye to our dad, our husband, and the person who has been the glue holding our family together.
If you are able to help financially, any amount would mean more to our family than we can put into words. Your support will help us stay close to Dad, keep up with the unexpected expenses that have come with this journey, and allow us to focus on what matters most right now: being there for him and for our mom.
If you aren’t able to donate, we completely understand. Sharing this fundraiser, sending a prayer, checking in, or simply keeping Dad, our mom, and our entire family in your thoughts means just as much.
Thank you to everyone who has supported us, prayed for Dad, reached out, brought us food, checked in, or simply reminded us that we aren’t alone.
We don’t know how much time we have left with our dad, but we want to make sure that whatever time we do have, he knows how deeply he is loved.
Please keep Dan, our mom, and our entire family in your prayers 🤍
