Help with care costs for my Mom with Alzheimer's.

I have been a nurse for over 30 years and I'm now caring for my mom who was a nurse for even longer. She is now 94 years old and even though I am one of three children, I am the only one who has stepped up to take care of her. When I first started I didn't know my brothers would not help me. Unfortunately, I have seen this all too often in my role as a visiting home care nurse but I never thought it would someday be my family's story. I still work and am in what they call the sandwich generation because while I'm caring for my mom I also have two young adult children who are grown but not flown, so I'm still helping them out while they figure out their own paths, one as a social worker and one as an EMT. We are a family of caregivers but trying to afford to pay for caregivers is drowning my husband and I. Looking at us from the outside we look like we are doing okay, but it's been 6 years as my Mom's POA and primary caregiver and she's now on hospice, and keeping our home is becoming more and more of a struggle. My entire paycheck as well as her entire social security check and her pension check all go to paying her daytime caregivers. I have applied for Medicaid and have jumped through all the hoops with the guidance of an elder attorney that I got for her early on who I have not even been able to pay who is an angel from above because he continues to help us anyway and guide us through the process. She owns a home out of state and one of my brothers who won't help lives in it for free. He helped early on but then just stopped. He's blocking the sale of the house which is our only hope right now of being able to continue this way without losing our own house. That will be a legal battle down the line but right now I go to work every day and try to keep up a happy demeanor for my patients while inside I have a continuous ball of worry in my stomach. Bill collectors call dozens of times a day. My phone never stops dinging, seven days a week. My credit score is in the toilet. I could put my mom in a nursing home and maybe they would take her house to pay for it and that could solve a lot of problems but I just could never do that to her because she never wanted that, and I wouldn't want her confused and surrounded by people who are not her family. She often does not remember that I'm her daughter but she knows that I'm a family member who she loves who loves her. Sometimes she thinks I'm her sister and other times she thinks I'm her mother and sometimes she knows I'm her daughter. I go along with whatever she thinks because all the options make her feel secure and safe and that's how she made me feel my whole life. so if I end up losing my house or having to downsize or whatever I'll do it but I had to try this before that happens.

The amount I'm asking for is the amount it takes to pay the caregivers every month minus my Mom's social security and pension income. I'm not trying to get any more than I need. If we get help with that amount, the paychecks my husband and I get from work can go to digging us out of the hole we are in financially and getting us to a better place so that we can better handle it again ourselves. Any help at all is appreciated because even small amounts will be that much less that we have to come up with. I stopped working early on to try to take care of her myself but the stress of being a caregiver day and night by myself was taking a toll on me and we needed more money for our bills and we needed health insurance and I just didn't want to throw my career away so I decided to hire caregivers. I'm not sure now if I'm better off stopping work again but I'm going to try this first. Alzheimer's is a terrible thief of people's lives but my mom made it to 94 and is still happy and has a lot of her long-term memories. She loves to sing and dance even though she's in pain and in her head she's much younger. Her favorite is her music therapist that she gets through hospice. It's really a joy to watch her sessions.

Thank you for any help you contribute. It's all appreciated more than you can ever know.