My Diagnosis Is Not My Destiny 💗
I have started and stopped writing this more times than I can count because asking for help has never been easy for me.
If you know me, you know I am usually the one trying to take care of everyone else. I’m a mom first and foremost, a partner, and I work in healthcare. I have always worked hard, stayed busy, taken care of my family, and somehow figured things out when life got hard.
Over the years, our family has learned just how quickly life can change.
Several years ago, Brian underwent a surgery that changed our lives forever. What was supposed to help him ultimately left us facing a completely different reality than the one we had known before. Our family had to adjust, adapt, and figure out a new normal that none of us had planned for.
Through all of that, I became the primary breadwinner for our household.
And I did what moms do.
I kept going.
I worked. I took care of our kids. I helped take care of Brian. I kept our home going. I worried, prayed, cried when I needed to, and then got back up and kept moving forward.
We figured it out together.
But now our family is facing something we never expected to face again.
I am fighting breast cancer. Again.
Even typing those words still doesn't feel real.
The last several weeks have been a whirlwind of appointments, imaging, biopsies, scans, waiting for results, more testing, more appointments, and trying to make some incredibly difficult decisions about what comes next.
And through all of it, I am still Mom.
We have three amazing kids who are the absolute center of our world. They have already watched our family walk through things I wish they never had to understand at their ages, and now they are having to watch their mom face cancer again.
That part breaks my heart more than anything.
As a mom, you want to protect your babies from everything. You want home to feel safe. You want their biggest worries to be school, sports, friends, what's for dinner, and all the normal things that come with growing up—not biopsies, scans, chemotherapy, surgeries, or whether Mom is going to be okay.
I can't shield them from all of this, but I can do everything in my power to keep their lives as normal, secure, and full of love as possible while I fight.
They are three of the biggest reasons I will never stop fighting.
I still have lunches to pack and school events to attend. I still have birthdays to celebrate, milestones to witness, pictures to take, vacations to plan, hugs to give, and someday, God willing, grandchildren to spoil.
There is so much life with them that I haven't lived yet.
And I intend to be here for it. 💗
I am still Brian's partner.
And I am still the primary breadwinner for our family.
There are still kids who need me. A home that needs to keep running. Bills that still come. Groceries that still need to be bought. And a family whose entire world doesn't get to stop just because cancer decided to show up again.
The reality is that treatment will mean time away from work, and when the person your household primarily depends on financially is also the person who now needs cancer treatment, that is scary.
Cancer doesn't just bring a diagnosis. It brings an entirely new set of expenses.
There will be deductibles and copays, medications, additional testing, travel and transportation, cold capping to hopefully preserve my hair through treatment, supportive care, time away from work, and all of the unexpected expenses that come along with fighting this disease.
And that's on top of the mortgage, utilities, groceries, and everyday expenses of raising a family that don't stop just because Mom has cancer.
So, after a lot of prayer and a LOT of hesitation, I am allowing myself to do something that is very difficult for me:
I'm asking for help.
Not because I've stopped believing that we'll figure this out.
We will.
We always do.
But I am beginning to understand that sometimes God answers prayers through the people He places around us. And maybe part of this journey for me is learning that it's okay to let other people help carry us for a little while.
If you feel led to donate, please know how incredibly grateful we are. Every dollar will help ease some of the financial weight of treatment and allow me to focus more of my energy on healing while keeping life as stable as possible for our family.
If you aren't able to donate, PLEASE don't feel like you have to.
Pray for me.
Pray for Brian.
Pray for our children and our family.
Share my story.
Send me a scripture when God puts one on your heart.
Or simply remind me on the hard days that there are people standing beside us.
Those things mean more than you probably realize.
I won't pretend I'm never scared. I'm human. There have been tears. There have been moments where this has felt incredibly heavy.
But there is something bigger than my fear.
My faith.
I know who holds tomorrow.
I know God has walked with our family through valleys we never thought we would face, and I believe with everything in me that He is walking beside us through this one too.
Cancer may be part of my story right now, but cancer does not get to write the ending.
My diagnosis is not my destiny.
God has the final word.
I still have babies to raise.
I still have a man beside me whom I love.
I still have beaches to walk.
I still have sunsets to watch.
I still have people to love.
I still have dreams to chase.
And I still believe there is purpose in all of this—even on the days when I can't see it yet.
So we keep going.
One appointment at a time.
One treatment at a time.
One prayer at a time.
One day at a time.
And maybe someday I will look back at this chapter and understand why God allowed me to walk through it.
Until then, I will keep fighting. I will keep believing. And I will keep choosing faith over fear.
From the absolute bottom of my heart, thank you to every single person who has prayed for me, checked on me, helped our family, sent a message, shared my story, or simply reminded me that we are not walking through this alone.
I don't think I could ever adequately explain what your love and support mean to me, Brian, and our children.
The promises I am holding onto through this fight:
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you." — Isaiah 43:2
"No weapon formed against you shall prosper." — Isaiah 54:17
"God is within her, she will not fall." — Psalm 46:5
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." — 2 Timothy 1:7
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13
"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." — Exodus 14:14
"Do not fear, for I am with you... I will strengthen you and help you." — Isaiah 41:10
"If you have faith as small as a mustard seed... nothing will be impossible for you." — Matthew 17:20
"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." — Psalm 30:5
"She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future." — Proverbs 31:25
And the one I will keep reminding myself of when this road feels too heavy:
"Be still, and know that I am God." — Psalm 46:10
These aren't just words to me.
These are promises.
When I'm scared, I will come back to them. When I'm tired, I will come back to them. When I don't understand what God is doing, I will come back to them.
Because cancer may have changed our plans, but it has not changed God's promises.
My diagnosis is not my destiny. God has the final word. 💗
We love you. We appreciate you. And we are so incredibly grateful. 💗
With love,
Ashley, Brian & Family 💗
