Tya is the organized person in this family. She makes sure the bills get paid, appointments get scheduled, prescriptions get filled, and each family member gets where they need to be.
The second week of December, she made several visits to the ER with a puzzling array of symptoms. They ran tests, ruled out anything life-threatening, and told her to follow up with her primary. She had an appointment at 8 am on Tuesday, December 16. Since I work second shift, I was still sleeping when she left. When I got up, she was gone, our car was gone, and I didn't have any messages from her. She didn't respond to calls or texts. This was extremely unusual for her. If there's any delay or change of plans, she calls or texts immediately. Then I got a call from the hospital. They told me they had admitted her. She had an infection that had spread to her bloodstream, and they had her on IV antibiotics. I assumed she had driven herself to the hospital. They gave me her room number and the phone number for her room.
Because I had taken time off work to care for Tya and Edmund earlier this year, I didn't think I could take more time off. (They had each already been hospitalized twice this year.) I called my parents to see if they could watch Edmund (our son with autism) and give me a ride to work. They came and picked him up, and loaned me their minivan.
As soon as I had the chance, I called her room. She didn't answer. I kept calling, but got no answer until Wednesday. She knew she was in the hospital, but couldn't remember why. I said I was having trouble hearing her, so she hung up. Again, very unusual for her. I kept calling. Sometimes she would answer, sometimes she wouldn't. When she answered, it was hard to get any information because she wasn't sure what was real and what wasn't. I didn't figure out where our car was until Friday. Apparently, she drove herself to her appointment on Tuesday morning, but arrived so disoriented that the clinic called an ambulance.
On Thursday, I had a root canal. My phone rang during the procedure. I obviously couldn't answer it. I checked my phone as soon as I got out. I had a voicemail from the hospital. I called back, and they said they were treating the infection, but she was hallucinating, and they wanted some imaging studies to rule out other conditions. Since Tya wasn't sure what was real and what wasn't, they needed me to fill in some of her medical history.
On Friday, Tya called me at work and asked me to come and get her. She said that she'd been in the hospital for weeks and weeks, they wouldn't let her family see her, and she needed to get home for Christmas. She was also upset because her cell phone was dead and she didn't have a charger. I told her I would come first thing on Saturday and bring her a charger. That eased her mind somewhat.
I got another call from the hospital on Saturday morning, telling me Tya had just come out of surgery and was in recovery. I didn't know she'd had surgery. I dropped Edmund off at my parents' house and went to the hospital. Our other son, Jack, came from Madison to see her. He met me at the hospital. I couldn't remember her room number, she wasn't answering the phone, and the hospital staff didn't seem to know whether she was in her room or still in recovery. It took several hours to locate and see her. It's a big hospital, and understaffed, especially on weekends, but still, very frustrating.
The infection had invaded her knee joint, and they'd performed surgery to clean it out and install a drain. I sat with her until a little after 9 pm. She seemed to have no short-term memory and kept asking the same questions again and again, but was otherwise in good spirits and glad to have me there.
I returned on Sunday morning. She was still in good spirits, but frustrated with her memory. When a nurse asked her what year it was, she thought for a moment and decided it must be 2027. She kept asking me to check for people hiding under the bed. She kept asking me if various family members were dead. They were all alive and well. She kept asking me how many children each of my siblings had, and was sure I was getting it wrong. It felt a bit like 50 First Dates. She kept saying that she knew about the surprise party we were planning for her that night. When I said I didn't know anything about a party, she told me I was really bad at lying. I am, but no one was planning a party.
Every time someone came in to check her vitals, give her medicine, etc., they would ask her name and birthdate. She got her name right slightly more than half the time, but she kept confusing her birthdate with her room number. It really didn't matter; they could always scan the code on her ID bracelet, but it bothered her that she couldn't get it right. She kept repeating her name and birthdate, or, more accurately, trying to repeat it and getting it wrong. After innumerable repetitions, she decided she'd got it right (she hadn't) and said she hoped the nurse was satisfied. The nurse had left the room two hours ago.
She was sure her nieces were hiding under the bed, waiting to surprise her. I tried to change the subject, but she wouldn't have it. As afternoon lengthened into evening, she grew more and more agitated, insisting that she was going to say her name and birthdate, and that we shouldn't stop her. I just looked up from my book and nodded. She got angry and began pounding on the bed rails, insisting that she was going to do this, although what "this" meant became less and less clear. She interrupted herself periodically to have arcane arguments with people who weren't there. Finally, she told Jack to get out because he wasn't helping her nieces escape from under the bed. He asked the nurses if there was anything they could do. They called her doctor, and he prescribed a sleeping pill. She needs the rest, and maybe a good night's sleep will help stop the hallucinations. After Jack left, Tya tried to Venmo him some money so her nieces could at least have some clean clothes.
So that's where we are as of 11:20 pm Sunday, December 21. I don't know what the financial needs will be. At this point, we're just asking for prayer. I set a $100 goal because that's the minimum GiveSendGo will allow.
