Hello everyone so wether I know you or not I just want to start off by giving all the glory to God and I just want to thank him and you for even just reading my story or sharing it with your loved ones that alone is thee most awesome thing you could do for my family and I so this is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do its very hard for me to ask for help but I have to let go and let God! First off let me say my family is one of the most important amazing beautiful gifts I've ever received from God. They are my rock they are my heart my everything!! I would do anything for them so I'm letting go of my stubbornness because I can no longer provide for them the way they need me to. Let me start from the beginning I have always (with God by my side) taken care of myself I don't have the normal family foundation that most people have you know like mom, dad, grandma, grandpa and so on my life was not always easy but it has made me the person the mom the friend I am today. I am grateful for every struggle every hiccup every speed bump I have had along the way because each one made me stronger wiser and that much more appreciative for any blessing or win I have received in my life!! Recently though I have been presented with a huge speedbumb I was diagnosed first with congestive heart failure around 13 years ago I had a very rough first pregnancy which ended with an emergency Caesarean section in witch there was no time for an epidural or any kind of pain meds they strapped me down on the bed and the rest is kinda like a horror story so in the end my heart was traumatized by the experience and it left me with heart damage ie congestive heart failure. Then a couple years after that I was hit again with the bipolar schizophrenia diagnoses a little gift from my mom and the enemy (you know who) so God and I beat that daily and then I was diagnosed with lupus which I'm not gonna lie it has been very hard to overcome most days I'm completely beat before I even get out of bed the side effects and symptoms are overwhelming but my kids needed me so I push through everyday and try my best to give them my all but the bad days are really bad. So as I was trying to overcome or to get used to the lupus. My legs started swelling to the point I had no ankles or knees and I developed this horribly itchy ugly rash all over my whole body it was literally one of the worst experiences of my life I was literally almost itching my skin off. After the fifth time going to the ER I got a doctor that actually cared and performed every test on me possible and he discovered I had Bilateral Veneous Insufficiency (I think that's how you spell it lol) pretty much my veins in my legs have given up and no longer pump the blood back to my heart so the blood just pools in my legs and cause severe swelling and rashes. So I literally have to lay in bed with my legs above my heart or else my legs swell and cause severe pain that no medicine can help Because there is nowhere for this extra fluid to go your body will create an exit point ie pretty much a hole in your skin to release the fluid and then those sores can get infected and cause a whole other mess of problems and can actually result in sepsis if not taken care of properly which can cause death!! Luckily I have a wound specialist and a vascular team and a cardiologist who are amazing but the downside to all of this is I have been put on bed rest until my upcoming surgery. This means I can not work or do anything at all. After my surgery I will not be able to walk for about 6 months because they are going to make an incision from the thighs to the ankles to repair the reflux in my veins sounds scary and complicated because it is. It's funny though I'm not very worried about the actual surgery (I know God has my back) the thing I'm worried about is not being able to physically or financially take care of my kids I have a beautiful 12 year old girl and a handsome 13 year old son and amazing adorable adopted 2 n 1/2 year old!! I have an amazing husband who does everything he can but with the cost of just surviving nowadays one person cannot support a family of five unless they are a doctor or a lawyer. Both of which he is not he is a flooring installer the best if you ask me and since this has happened he has started working and doing every side hustle you can imagine from Uber Eats to Instacart to DoorDash anything to provide for his family. On top of not being able to work I'm gonna need a caregiver that my insurance does not really cover they will only give me 15 hours per week!! Did I mention I won't be able to walk?? So he wants to be able to be home more so he can help me anyway possible. I want that too but that is impossible with the amount of bills we already have piling up. We also are in the middle of having to move because our landlord is not able to wait for us to catch up on bills so he has decided to evict us. We are just now behind only a month on our car payment thanks to an amazing lady and she knows who she is:) So here comes the hard part if anyone can help or knows someone that can help my family and I anything like ANYTHING will help even prayer. This truly is the hardest thing I've ever done but God made sure to let me know it's ok to ask for help when you truly need it and if ever a time in my life I need help it is now. Thank you to everyone that has read shared or donated you have no idea how much you have helped in doing this and I will pay it forward everyday from here on out:) 

Galatians 6:2 "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." 

 Ecclesiastes 4:9-10  Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up."

Matthew 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

just a couple of scriptures that have been helpful in asking for help :)