There's a Better Way: 4 Hearts, 1 Journey

My entire life I only ever wanted 1 thing; to make sure my children grew up with something I never had—both their parents and more love then they knew what to do with.

For years, I lived that dream. My kids; (Iris -5 &1/2, Elijah- 2, & karisma-barely a couple weeks) were attached to my hip, to say the least. They were/are my best friends.

.....until my whole world shifted,...... our housing fell apart, and I was forced to make the most agonizing decision of my life, protecting them meant sending them To stay safely with my mother out of state, trusting I would follow them immediately. Life had other plans.

Nothing prepares a parent to be able to make a decision like that......the separation broke me.... weeks turned to months and at some point, after failing them over and over, one "plan" to save money after the next.... I lost myself... Looking back I can't even recall the moment when it happened.... But I fell further and further then the next thing I knew I woke up and looked around... wondering how did I get here..... homeless, without my babies, & addicted to the only thing that temporarily took the pain away. Fetynol.

Somewhere between rock bottom and rising, there is a moment when a person decides to fight. I found that moment — and I'm holding onto it with both hands.

the climb back up has been eye opening to say the least.....back to the same fight as before..... I feel like I am stuck on a hamster wheeel.... Between a harsh economy, no transportation, and state lines between us, the gap felt impossible to bridge. Now every single day, I allow the thought that broke me to be the fuel to my fire "Do my babies think I’m not there because I don’t care? Do they think they aren't enough?"

I am doing everything in my power to give them the answer.

Today, I am 18 days clean. all I can say is getting clean wasn't nearly as hard as losing my babies. They are growing up fast— Karisma, just turned 1 and took her very first steps all in the same week this month. I refuse to miss another milestone.

I am launching this campaign because the emotional and spiritual work is already happening, but I need my community's help to build the physical bridge back to my family. I can't do it alone. Your contributions will go directly toward:

1. A reliable used vehicle for employment and travel.
2. Relocation and moving expenses to cross state lines.

Thank you for helping us find our way back to each other.