For the past 16 years I have spent almost every morning with my children before leaving for work at noon, I also devoted two full days a week to being with my family. Our one year old's first word was “Papa”

In the end of July my wife of twenty years decided to leave me to pursue a career. She decided she would need to get full custody of our children to ensure the highest child support payments.

My now Ex-wife entered the church a few years ago and last year I began my own journey. At the end of September while I was talking to my mother I felt a holy presence. It was as if everything froze for a split second a foreign thought penetrated my entire being and I knew I had to enter the church. It was the clearest moment I have ever experienced. I reached out to our priest through email and eagerly awaited a response.

Two days after she had solely decided to end our marriage she initiated an argument with me over the phone and told me I was no longer allowed in our marital bed. I apologized and agreed. After sleeping on the couch for a week she told me she filed for support and not to come home because she needed space. She then texted me that we should only communicate by text from now on. I apologized and agreed. She proceeded to call me regardless though for the purpose of gaslighting. She would tell me over the phone that I chose to leave and she never told me to leave but she never texted it.

A few days later on my birthday my eight year old asked me to sleepover. I texted her mom and she wouldn’t allow it. Later when I got to work I texted her mom and she texted me that I chose to leave and she never told me to leave. I texted her I was coming home to sleep on the couch. She threatened me and I agreed not to come home. She then sent me a text saying how she was talking to our priest and from what she told him she should get an emergency PFA on me. I was heart broken to think I was also not entering the church. A police officer then called me and told me not to go home or my wife would get an emergency protection from abuse order. I said, “I would never hurt her, I have never hit a woman in my life.” To which he responded, “I know that’s what she said.” I then asked him to start the process immediately to get an emergency PFA against her because she has physically assaulted me in every big argument we’ve ever had and I cannot go home if she is there. She has punched me, kicked me and thrown things at me including a statue she put through a wall at my business when I ducked. He feigned ignorance on how to get an emergency PFA and told me to wait by the phone and he would call back. Two hours later I had dispatch track him down and he told me to just go to the courthouse tomorrow. The next day him and a magistrate Judge helped my wife draft an emergency PFA against me at the local police station while I drove the 45 minutes to the courthouse. I decided not to file for one when I got there. I called her father who is a retired prison guard who is twice my size, literally, me being an actual dwarf and him being six foot and more than 265 pounds of muscle, to see if he would reach out to her for me since she had now blocked me. He threatened to end me and spend whatever it takes so I never see my kids again. I hung up and returned to my home to do some repairs and was removed by the police. I could not contact my children for eight days. I had to borrow a $1000 to pay an attorney to have it dismissed. The first example of abuse committed was me asking the officer for an emergency PFA against her.

During that time away from my children I did a lot of reflection on the situation and realized my goal was to enjoy the most time with my children as she would permit and teach my eight month old to walk, he could stand but not walk when I left. I was blessed with him taking his first steps for the express purpose of hugging me. I was so happy that I went to tell his mom but she was on the phone with domestic relations to find out if her new job changed her ability to get support. I don’t know what he said but the next day she orchestrated a ridiculous argument and stormed out of the house with my children.

When my ex moved everything out of our family home, her father broke into my garage, turned off my furnace, took the front door off and ripped off the back panel of my oven and cut out all the wiring he could reach. I contacted my ex when I realized it and she told me she had nothing to with it and she did not give anyone else permission to do it. I promptly called the police to file a criminal mischief report. The police told me that it was filed but no one asked me for evidence or a sworn statement. The next time I saw my children they told me they saw their grandfather destroy my oven. I called the police to give them the information and they were rude and dismissive before they hung up on me without providing any assistance. Which is how all 12 of my interactions with them have been since August.Over the next two months she allowed me to see my children for less than four hours. Domestic relations then ordered me to pay $40 dollars more than I make a month. She was unhappy that it was so low and complained at the hearing. I then filed for custody. She went completely no contact with me after she got her support money until the custody hearing almost a month later. I missed My son turning one and my daughter’s sweet sixteen during that time. In November we were issued an interim custody order and I was now supposed to have my eight children every weekend. Unfortunately their mother told me we couldn’t force the three oldest to see me or have the bus drop them off at my house on Fridays.

The fourth weekend I had my children my wife’s best friend messaged me out of the blue to express extreme disapproval of me baking pies with eight year old and generally being a good father. To which I responded, “I have always tried to be a good father and I took home economics 4 in high school. You don’t know me. If want to help out? Help your best friend and leave me alone, Karen”

Three days later I asked a customer to give me a ride to grab my minivan from my ex. as we agreed. When we arrived at my ex-wife’s place my vehicle was nowhere to be seen. I decided to get out and walk to the other corner and look for it before contacting my Ex. As I was walking her best friend and father arrived. Upon realizing I was walking down the sidewalk my father in law called me some insults and I responded “I know you are but what am I?” To which he said, “I’m going to end you, this ends now.” I ran back to my customer’s vehicle but the doors were locked and she was distracted by him approaching saying he would also beat up anyone I brought with me in the car. I managed to get her attention and we fled the scene. I called the police and when they met me they told me if I filled charges against her father they would arrest me for trespassing. Her best friend then texted me, “I thought the whole thing was hilarious & totally no big deal.”

That Monday I tried to get an emergency PFA against her father. The judge denied the order and chastised me for being immature by quoting Pee-Wee Herman. This judge also turned out to be our custody trial judge and refused to let us bring up the PFA incidents. The next time I had my eight year old she told me she was worried about my safety, that somebody might hurt me. I told her that if she heard yelling last week not to worry everything was fine now. She said she was afraid because in September, her mother let me visit with some of my children at a soccer game. When the game ended her sister promptly came over and ripped my baby from my hands and told me to leave. I told her to be gentle with him and she cursed at me. I went to my van and left. Then my eight year old watched her aunt demand that her husband, who is a convicted child abuser and a fan of spousal abuse and heroin consumption, to beat me up. Fortunately for me I was already gone. I still barricade my doors to feel safer now. 

Two days before Christmas I was ordered to appear in court due to not being able to pay and they scheduled a reassessment after I gave them all my money I had. Due to this, I did not have gas money to drive to attend midnight mass.When I arrived for custody pick up on New Years Day My sister in law began screaming at me about why my children think I’m weak and don’t respect me, I am paraphrasing her speech was too vulgar to write down here. I told my children to put their fingers in their ears and hum until auntie stops being silly. This she took as a challenge and got louder and closer and then I tried to honk my horn and play music so the kids couldn’t hear her while I frantically buckled toddlers. None of this was helping. Eventually I yelled at my sister in law and then realized my ex was recording the interaction. She filed contempt charges and without even investigating the accusations the judge warned me that if I mess up again at all I will be found in contempt and thrown in jail.

My ex wife told me we shouldn’t get lawyers for the actual custody trial, not that I could afford one. Unfortunately for me she did hire an attorney and now I only get see my children a few hours a week. Now that she has won the custody trial she told me that she plans on our children and her moving in with her new boyfriend, that she introduced our children to in September, where she will be living in sin because, “things have gotten serious with him now"

I was talking to our priest last night and I am going to be entering the church shortly and I will finally be able to become a true catholic instead of watching from the outside.

I am confident that with your help and the lord’s blessing I will be able to hire a lawyer and try and get shared physical custody so I may properly guide my family in the lord’s grace to offset their mother’s sinful influence.

I hope the Lord blesses you for taking the time to read my story.

The lord is truly right and just.