Mine started as a mood disorder, encompassed by body dysmorphia, a shrewd and keen insight into one's self (knowing that something is wrong), along with a lack of understanding as to why this is happening to me. That lead to bipolar depression, sleep deprivation, anxiety, antisocial behavior, too much on the mind with no will to exist. All these things combined are what we call Schizoaffective Disorder.

"Schizoaffective disorder is a chronic mental health condition that combines symptoms of schizophrenia (like hallucinations or delusions) with a mood disorder (such as depression or bipolar disorder). It requires long-term management with a mix of antipsychotic medications, mood stabilizers, and psychotherapy."

Because of my disorder, I felt sad, angry, and frankly over life. I almost (though accidentally) ended my life once. My world was up side down and there was nothing I could do about it. Eventually, medication helped immensely. But I was still left with some of the side effects of my condition. How do I make them go away until they're an untraceable traits? I understood understand that my friends and family could only help so much, because how do you explain something no one you know can relate to or that you can't explain because your head is so saturated in your current state of existence? The best help I can imagine would be through someone who has been through it, struggled their way out, and who understands your situation without you having to explain it. I would never wish this upon anyone. I feel, though, that my mission in life is to help people so that hopefully their experience is a lot lighter than mine. Undergoing something that I never saw coming puts me in a category that's rare but common enough and people are looking for answers. How do you stop it before it even starts? Everything has a source. You help one, you help a million. I hope this saves someone's life. With your help through your donations, I will be able to travel, find enriching entertainment, like Broadway, experience the joys of good food, and interaction with people. It'll help me to grow and I'll be able to share through social media and maybe on television one day, these experiences with the world and not feel ashamed for what I've been through. Because it wasn't my fault. We can only hope we get through it and that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Everybody doesn't have that spark. I'd like to be that spark if you let me. Thank you for being good people.

-Roderick Orlando, Visual Artist