Friend and family,

We come to you today with a matter of great urgency.

As we prepared for our upcoming group trip and launched our group chat, excitement was high. Plans were made. Memes were shared. We immediately started making fun of each other.

Everything was going smoothly until we discovered a devastating truth:

Out of 12 people, 11 are using iPhones.

One brave soul is not.

That brave soul is Craig.

Craig is the reason Meghan smiles, a good friend, and by all accounts a decent human being. Unfortunately, none of those qualities are enough to turn his text messages blue. Somehow, despite all of life's opportunities, he has chosen to walk the difficult path of the Android user.

Now, to be clear, we like Craig. In fact, the amount we roast him is directly proportional to how much we like him.

Unfortunately for Craig, we like him quite a bit.

Today, we're asking for your support.

No one should have to be the only Android user in a 12-person group chat. No one should have to explain to their friends why their boyfriend is the Android guy.

No one.

For just pennies a day, Craig can have blue bubbles and participate in society as nature intended.

Your donation will go toward:

📱 An iPhone

💙 Turning 11 blue bubbles into 12

📸 Videos that don't look like they were recorded by a Ring doorbell

👍 Eliminating the phrase "Craig liked a message"

🙏 Giving Meghan the peace she deserves

Every dollar brings Craig one step closer to a more compatible society and one step farther from single-handedly ruining our group chat aesthetics.

Will this fundraiser actually solve any real problems?

Absolutely not.

Will we continue making fun of Craig for using an Android?

Without question.

But at least we'll all be doing it in the same color. 💙

Craig, we love you. You're one of us now. You deserve better. And frankly, so do the rest of us.

Thank you for supporting this completely unnecessary but deeply important cause.