Help a U.S. Army Father Fight for His Son

My name is Juan, and I am a U.S. Army Soldier and the father of a seven-year-old boy named Sebastian. I am asking for help covering legal fees for my divorce and an extremely complicated international child custody case.

For approximately the past two years, I have been Sebastian’s primary caregiver. Being his father is the most important responsibility in my life. I have been responsible for his meals, schoolwork, medical appointments, hygiene, transportation, extracurricular activities, homework, bedtime routines, and the everyday responsibilities involved in raising a child.

Our situation is complicated because our family has lived internationally due to my military service. Sebastian was born in Germany while I was stationed there. He is a United States citizen through me and a German citizen through his mother. We later moved to South Korea because of my military assignment, where we have lived for approximately four years. His mother and I were married in Denmark.

Now our marriage is ending, and what should be a divorce has become an international custody dispute involving several countries and legal systems.

This fundraiser is not about revenge against Sebastian’s mother, and I am not asking strangers on the internet to decide which parent should receive custody.

This is about giving me the financial ability to hire qualified attorneys, present my evidence to the proper court, and allow a judge to determine what is genuinely in Sebastian’s best interests.

Over an extended period, I developed serious concerns regarding Sebastian’s care when I was not available.

I have documented concerns involving inconsistent meals, hygiene and clean clothing, inadequate supervision, extended periods being cared for by neighbors or other people, and occasions when I believed his mother prioritized drinking, going out, overnight absences, and her personal relationships over consistently caring for our son.

There were periods when neighbors played a significant role in taking care of Sebastian. These circumstances are not simply allegations I recently created because our marriage is ending. I have been documenting events over time, and other people have personally witnessed circumstances within our family.

I have prepared a detailed affidavit and chronological timeline. I have preserved communications and other records. Friends, neighbors, coworkers, fellow Soldiers, NCOs, and military leaders have also prepared character statements describing what they personally observed regarding my parenting, my relationship with Sebastian, and circumstances surrounding our family.

I am willing to have my own conduct and parenting examined objectively. I am not asking anyone to simply believe me because I am his father.

I want the evidence examined.

As our marriage deteriorated, the custody dispute became increasingly complicated.

When I previously sought assistance regarding concerns for Sebastian, I was often told that custody was a civilian matter and that military organizations could not determine which parent should have the child. I understand that the military is not a family court.

However, after Sebastian’s mother alleged that I had kidnapped our son, numerous organizations became involved, including Military Police, my chain of command, the Family Advocacy Program, Korean authorities, lawyers, and other agencies.

Throughout this process, I have cooperated with authorities.

I have not attempted to disappear with Sebastian or conceal his location. When welfare checks were requested, I cooperated so authorities could verify that Sebastian was safe and properly cared for. I have communicated with law enforcement and my chain of command and have sought professional legal advice because I want custody resolved through the appropriate legal process.

I have also not attempted to eliminate Sebastian’s relationship with his mother. I have encouraged communication between them. There have been occasions when Sebastian did not want to speak with her, but I have not instructed him to reject his mother.

The situation became even more complicated because Sebastian requires appropriate travel documentation as a U.S. citizen living overseas.

I attempted to obtain an emergency U.S. passport for him through the U.S. Embassy. His mother objected to the passport application while making allegations concerning the custody dispute. As a result, the passport matter became connected to an already complicated international custody situation.

I have consulted attorneys regarding divorce, child custody, international jurisdiction, relocation, and the steps I must take to protect my relationship with Sebastian while remaining within the law.

Unfortunately, international family law is extremely expensive.

Attorney retainers alone can cost thousands of dollars. In addition to attorney fees, there may be court filing costs, certified translations, document preparation, international service requirements, consultations with attorneys in different jurisdictions, and potentially legal proceedings in more than one country.

I have already used a substantial amount of my personal savings and retirement funds trying to obtain legal representation and protect my relationship with my only son.

After years of serving in the United States Army, I am preparing for the next chapter of my life. I should be using these resources to establish a stable home and future for Sebastian, but instead I am facing legal expenses that continue to increase.

That is why I am asking for help.

Funds raised will be used toward family-law attorney retainers, divorce proceedings, child custody representation, court costs, certified translations, document preparation, international family-law consultations, and other legitimate legal expenses necessary to present my case properly.

I am not asking donors to punish Sebastian’s mother.

I am not asking social media to award me custody.

I am asking for the opportunity to walk into the appropriate courtroom with qualified representation, provide my documentation, present witnesses who have firsthand knowledge, and allow the evidence to be evaluated fairly.

If the evidence shows that I am the parent best able to provide Sebastian with stability, safety, consistency, education, supervision, and a healthy home environment, I want the opportunity to demonstrate that through the proper legal process.

Sebastian deserves to have decisions about his future made according to his best interests—not based on social media accusations, who can tell the most emotional story, or which parent has more money available for attorneys.

For fathers reading this who have experienced a difficult custody battle, you understand how frightening it can be to feel that your relationship with your child could depend on whether you can afford adequate legal representation.

For Soldiers and veterans, you may understand another part of this story. We spend years being told to put the mission first, work long hours, relocate our families around the world, and make sacrifices because of military service. When a family crisis happens overseas, navigating civilian courts, military organizations, foreign authorities, embassies, and different countries’ laws can become overwhelming very quickly.

I am trying to navigate all of those systems while continuing to be Sebastian’s father.

My goal is simple.

I want my son to grow up in a safe and stable home. I want him to have consistent meals, clean clothes, appropriate supervision, a good education, extracurricular activities, medical care, emotional support, and family members who are present in his life.

I want to continue doing the ordinary things that have defined my relationship with him: helping with homework, taking him to activities, making sure he eats, caring for him when he is sick, spending time together, teaching him, supporting him, and simply being his dad.

This custody battle has already consumed a significant amount of my savings, time, and energy, but walking away from my son is not an option.

Every contribution, regardless of size, will help me continue paying for qualified legal representation so that this case can be decided through evidence and the proper legal process.

If you cannot donate, sharing this fundraiser with fathers’ organizations, shared-parenting communities, military families, veterans, friends, or anyone who believes that involved fathers deserve a fair opportunity to remain in their children’s lives would mean a great deal to me.

I have spent years serving my country.

Today, I am asking for help with the most important responsibility of my life: being there for my son.

Thank you for taking the time to read our story, for supporting a father trying to navigate an extraordinarily difficult international custody situation, and for helping me obtain the legal representation necessary to fight for Sebastian’s best interests through the proper legal system.