I'm not asking for bail money because I got caught "allegedly" doing something stupid. I'm not funding my "spiritual journey" to Bali after getting cancelled on Tik Tok. I did not lose everything in a yacht fire involving my OnlyFans empire. I'm a regular adult who shows up to work, doesn't embezzle, doesn't punch cops, and somehow still can't afford to retire. Shocking, I know. For the past 50 years I've been paying taxes...like a sucker, not committing felonies (a surprisingly expensive life choice), and meanwhile every week I see some chaotic gremlin raise 90K in legal fees and emotional support peacocks after live-streaming their own idiocy. Respect. But my crime is....existing while employed...and I want OUT. Looking for modest retirement where I can tell people I'm busy while doing nothing. I know you respect the grind, I know you are exhausted too, please refreshingly give money to someone who won't spend it on hookers, blow, or a new identity in Thailand.