Hello, everyone. My name is Anas Uddin, and this is my story.

I've been in the Navy for 17 years. And for 15 of those years, I've been sending money home because my dad's financial situation hasn't been the best, and 10 years ago, my mom's health started to decline.

We'll start with my dad's situation. He's 70. Growing up in Saint Louis, Missouri, my dad got a job at McDonald's and managed it for 8 years. As a first-time foreigner becoming a citizen, moving here with your wife and two kids, that's a lot of responsibility. And he absolutely killed it. The problem was he made a friend who owned a gas station and invited us over. My dad saw the luxurious lifestyle that he had and chased that. Unfortunately, my dad has been taken advantage of multiple times, with paychecks being under-the-table, not getting the full amount, having to restock a gas station out of his own pocket just to keep it going, and drowning in debt to the point where he fell behind on his mortgage and other payments. So during my military career, I would send money home and pay bills. For the last fifteen years, I've been paying and sending money to him to take care of what I could.

Now to my mom's story. She's 72. About ten years ago, her legs swelled up to a point where she couldn't walk, and it was very painful. This eventually developed holes in her legs, which had to be drained almost once or twice a week. It got so bad to the point where when I would come home once a year for the holidays, I would notice a drastic change in her lifestyle. Her weight had changed dramatically. One time when I came home, I got to meet one of the home care nurses, and I saw her do what she had to do on my mom's legs. It was very eye-opening on how messed up my mom's health really is. A little bit after I met the home care nurse, I found out that my mom was complaining to my dad about the nurses hurting her. When my dad asked about it, he found out that the nurse was purposely making my mom's wounds on her legs worse so that she could have a job. When my dad found out, he called the hospital and complained. Safe to say, she is no longer practicing medicine anytime soon. He refused to sue because that's the kind of person he is. He's not in it for the money; he's in it for being a decent human being. Once we found out, we had another home care nurse show up, and she was actually doing what she had to do. Fast forward to now, I have my mom and my dad going to appointments. When my mom got looked at, the nurses here were saying whatever the treatment plan was in Missouri was absolutely wrong. We have been trying to figure out what works. She's on so many medications, it's mind-boggling. They're trying to find the right mix because one medicine makes her swelling go down, but the other one closes up the wound, and you can't have both at the same time. Additionally, around September, we found out that my mom's kidneys were failing, which also kind of hints at the diabetes that she was diagnosed with back in 2019. Kidney failure lists all these in it and sucks, and it continued like that until 2025.

In 2025, my goal, and it has always been my goal, was when I get to my last command before I retire, I would buy a house and move them in and give them a life where they wouldn't have to worry about any bills, any mortgages, and just go and enjoy their life. Unfortunately, because of my dad's financial situation and my mom's medical situation, that timeline has moved up 2-3 years. What does that mean for me?

In May 2025, I've had to buy a house. I've had to find a way to go home because my work did not support me taking care of my personal stuff back in Missouri. I'm stationed out in Mayport, FL. So, back in April, I had to find a house quickly so I could get that process going and get approved for a loan. I did use the VA loan, and it takes a while for you to close. So in May, I had to go on a week of leave and fly down to Saint Louis on Sunday, get a U-Haul truck on Monday, and load as much as I possibly could into it. Tuesday morning at six o'clock, I was on the road to drive down to Mayport, Florida in a U-Haul truck because most companies will not give you a van or something like that. Plus, with all of the personal belongings, a U-Haul made sense. Unfortunately, it did not make sense for my mom because of how disabled she really is. When I drive from Missouri to Florida, it takes me about 14 hours in my Tacoma, usually getting back around eleven or twelve o'clock. In the U-Haul truck, we didn't get back until three the next morning. Once we got back, I got them in, had them sleep in my room, and I passed out on the couch, only to be woken up 3 hours later to go and close on the house. Once that was done, I had to drive an hour and a half south just to sign the documents. Once that was done, I drove back and started moving all my parents' stuff into the new house to get them situated, then slowly started doing all the other stuff to make it habitable for myself and my parents and make sure they were as comfortable as possible.

I know you guys are probably asking, what's the military doing to help you? Well, they have a program. It's called the secondary dependency. And there's a bunch of forms you have to fill out and submit, and eventually, you get approved so they can get insurance and you can get dependent BAH. Well, I've been doing that since May. And I've gone back and forth with them. Then in October, there was a document that was completely out of my hands that had nothing to do with me that we were waiting for the program. Then, they sent me a letter saying, hey, everything you've done since May is invalid. You need to update everything with the dates posted after October 28th, and that still isn't confirmed of me getting approved. That made me lose all hope in the military because how can you disregard all those documents because of the date? Which pretty much told me everything since May is completely void. At that time, my chain of command was not the best. All they cared about was work. At one point, my commanding officer said, when you're at work, I need you to think about work, and I don't need you to think about your parents. At that point, my parents were on the verge of becoming homeless because my dad filed for foreclosure.

I went down a rocky path and even submitted a HUMS package, which got denied because I was overqualified. When I called to find out why I was overqualified, they said that I would require more time than they were able to give, keeping in mind I only asked for 6 months.

Once that happened, I went down a very dark road. And I don't really talk about this, but I almost committed suicide. I had the intent; I was about to execute the plan. But something inside of me snapped out of it, and I didn't do it. The next day, I went to the hospital and admitted myself into mental health. And I've been on a road to recovery ever since. I have not had any suicidal ideations since June when I had my attempt. Since then, I've been put in a limited duty status, which has allowed me time to take care of my parents, take them to all their appointments, take care of my mental health, take care of the house, and take care of all my personal stuff. Unfortunately, that has put me in a really bad state where I have quadrupled my debt. On top of that, I have a mortgage because the Navy does not support what I do. I have been to financial counselors, and they are willing to give me $7000 on top of my $70000 debt, which doesn't help because that would just give me another payment that I need to make. Yes, it would be interest-free, but that wouldn't be enough. Document-wise, I have to pay the full mortgage, utilities, groceries, and gas. My parents are both on Medicaid and Medicare, so that kind of helps, and they collect social security, so that helps a little bit more. But I'm doing my best, and I feel like it's still not good enough.

I'm honestly not sure what I'm looking for. Maybe a solid hug or someone just telling me that I'm doing amazing and that I'm a good son, but it doesn't feel like it.

I'm not asking for a lot. It's just enough to pay off my debt and buy my dad a car so he can get a job because I can see that as much as he cares for my mom, he's looking for stuff to do. And he's the kind of person that he has to be doing something. And right now, that isn't in the budget.

If you made it this far in reading, I thank you.

Cost breakdown:

Debt: 70k and climbing

Living paycheck to paycheck

Mortgage: 3500

Utilities: 500

Gas: 200

Groceries: 400

I'm sure I'm missing more, but yeah.

It's crazy. I don't think I've ever made a post about this. But yeah, I've been through a lot, and I'm still going through a lot, and I just want to give my parents happiness.