I'm not someone who asks for help easily. I believe in working hard, taking care of yourself, and not expecting others to carry your weight. But I'm in a situation I cannot get out of alone, and so I'm asking. I realize there are so many people in need and I would love to make a difference to them in the future. I feel incredible shame asking, but I literally have no one else to turn to.

A year ago, my fiance and I moved to Portland, Oregon together. He left. I stayed because what choice did I have? I've been fighting to make it work ever since. I do gig work every day. I've sent out countless resumes, completed assessments, sat through interviews. No steady job has come through yet.

I got myself sober after drinking from morning to night for 3 years. No program. No rehab. All alone in my apartment with God's help. Currently, I don't drink. I don't use drugs. I don't steal. I wake up every morning and try again, even when I have no food in the house and no toilet paper and I'm running on empty in every sense of the word.

Portland is a very liberal city, and I don't fit the mold of who the local charities serve. The resources here simply aren't for someone like me. I'm not saying that bitterly, it's just the truth.

I have one family member in the entire world: my aunt in Florida. She is waiting for me. She is my people. And I am stuck here in an apartment I cannot afford on my own, in a city that is not my home, with nothing and no one.

My iron is so low I can't even donate plasma to get emergency cash. Depression and isolation are making every day harder than the last. Things have never been quite the same since COVID. But depression is real and it makes my belief in accountability all the worse to feel so helpless.

All I need is $2000 to break my lease and get to Florida. Oregon is a beautiful state, but Portland has not been welcoming and I need to be with like minded people. That's it. I'm hoping for one chance to get to the only person who loves me, start over somewhere I belong, and finally stop drowning.

I believe God places people in front of us for a reason. If you're reading this, maybe you're one of them.

I appreciate anyone taking the time to read this.

(disclosure- Claude helped me organize my thoughts)

Thank you-

Danielle