My husband wasn't always this way.
As a young man, he was full of life, energy and dreams. He loved sports, being outdoors and spending time with friends and family. He looked forward to building a career, starting a family and living the life he had imagined for himself.
Then, in his early twenties, everything changed.
One night, he woke up struggling to breathe and hyperventilating. Believing he was having a medical emergency, he drove himself to the emergency room. They couldn't regulate his breathing until it passed on its own. It wasn't a heart attack, it was his first severe panic attack. That terrifying night marked the beginning of a battle that has lasted more than 30 years.
Like many young adults, he drank socially. As the panic attacks became more frequent and overwhelming, he began relying on alcohol in an attempt to quiet the fear and cope with the anxiety. Instead, it slowly became an addiction.
Realizing he needed help, he made one of the bravest decisions of his life and admitted himself into rehabilitation. More than 30 years later, he remains completely sober. His recovery is a testament to his strength, determination, and resilience; a fight he has shown up for every single day since.
Although he overcame alcohol addiction, the mental illness never went away.
His condition became so severe that he was forced to leave university before completing his degree. For nearly a year, he became housebound, unable to leave his parents' home because of overwhelming panic and anxiety. With the support of a psychiatrist and his family, he slowly began taking small steps outside again with people he trusted beside him.
He still cannot leave the house without being accompanied by a safe person (myself).
He cannot live alone, so he stayed in his sister's basement until we met and got married.
Even after his illness changed the course of his life, he refused to give up. As he regained some stability, he enrolled in community college and earned two associate degrees. Those degrees meant far more than academic achievements; they represented hope, perseverance and proof that he could still move forward despite everything he had endured.
He later built a career as a graphic designer, using his creativity and talent while quietly continuing to battle panic disorder with agoraphobia, anxiety, OCD and depression.
Over time, however, maintaining regular employment became impossible. Things many people do every day and take for granted; such as leaving the house, driving to work or arriving somewhere on time; could trigger overwhelming panic attacks. Some nights, he couldn't sleep because he was terrified of having to leave the house the next morning. Even driving sometimes became so overwhelming that he had to pull over and ask a stranger for help.
A few years ago, our lives crossed paths. I came to know the man behind the illness; a kind, caring, intelligent, compassionate and incredibly talented person whose strength inspires me every day. We fell in love, got married and chose to build a life together despite the challenges we knew we would face.
Today, I take care of him full-time. His condition requires constant supervision and support, making it extremely difficult for me to maintain outside employment. Together, we have accumulated debt while simply trying to survive.
Despite years of therapy, medication and extraordinary determination, his illness continued. After an extensive review of his medical records, he was recently approved for Social Security disability benefits due to the severity of his conditions. Though the financial support has not yet started, it will only cover our most basic needs going forward.
Mental illness has taken many opportunities from my husband, but it has never taken away his kindness, creativity or his desire to contribute to the world. Even after everything he has endured, he still dreams of living with purpose, using his creativity again in a way that fits within his limitations, finding joy in the life he has fought so hard to keep and maybe one day becoming a father.
We are raising funds to help pay off debt that has accumulated over years of living with this illness, maintain stable housing and cover daily living expenses while we rebuild our lives. Our goal is not luxury. Our goal is stability; the chance to live without the constant fear of financial hardship while dealing with his mental illness, so we can focus on healing, hope and the future.
If our story has touched your heart, we humbly ask for your support. Every donation, no matter the amount, brings us one step closer to that stability, both mentally and financially. If you are unable to donate, sharing our campaign or keeping us in your thoughts and prayers would mean more than we can express.
Thank you for taking the time to read our story, for believing in my husband and for giving us hope that brighter days are still possible.
For more than 30 years, my husband has fought every day just to survive. With your kindness and support, we hope he can finally begin living again.
