My wife and I had to use Payday loans over a year ago for various things that went wrong at once. Car repairs, healthcare for our child, even food at one point. My wife had to be off work for weeks to have her gall bladder removed, which also resulted in some lost wages. This all contributed to where we are now. 

The problem is, every two weeks since then, I have to juggle every paycheck every two weeks to pay back each payday loan in a certain order, then take that same loan back out again so we can make it for the next two weeks. I’ve been doing this “Payday loan shuffle” for over a year and there’s no end in sight. We lose at least $150 every time we pay back the loans, then take them out again.

The amount of stress this puts on me is immense. I’m in my early 50s, disabled, on disability which cost me 2/3rds of the paycheck i used to earn when I could work and I don’t know how much longer I can do this. It’s taking an immense toll on my health and mental health. So much so that I’m concerned I’m heading for a cardiac arrest one of these paychecks. The stress and sheer anxiety of possibly running out of money before paying everything back in the right order is crushing. If I fall asleep and don’t get on it right away, our account is wiped and there’s nothing I can do.

I am embarrassed to even make this, I’m very much a “get your own house in order” kind of person when it comes to my life. But I don’t apply that to others. I help whenever I can, which hasn’t been much since this started. My wife doesn’t know how badly this stresses me out, as she still works full time and has her own things to worry about without me adding to it. I’m ashamed of myself, and putting this out there makes that shame even deeper. I’m sorry to even begin to put any of this on anyone else.

If you can help, I am in your debt. If you can’t, I certainly understand completely. This is a final effort to try to get off this treadmill and possibly save my heart from more severe damage from stress.

Thank you to everyone, whether you can help or not, you are all my friends no matter what. Please enjoy a picture of one of our cats, as a picture of me would surely drive people away, screaming. However, if anyone wishes to see proof of the Payday loans we have out, feel free to contact me and I can send screenshots of them with any sensitive information removed. Thank you again for reading this far, I hope you all have a wonderful day.

Sean / Damiacar