Why doesn’t she leave?

I’ve asked that question a million times over the years when I saw people in abusive relationships. I never truly understood the answer—until it happened to my daughter.

When you leave an abuser, you often don’t leave with support. You leave with fear, bills, court dates, and impossible choices. You leave physical danger, but you give up financial safety.

In our family, there are four children who need a safe place to live and ongoing therapy to heal from trauma. When my daughter chose safety for herself and her children, she lost the $6,000 a month that was coming in from his paycheck. That income disappeared overnight.

Now the bills are piling up.

We cannot afford an attorney.

We cannot afford the mortgage payments.

To make things even harder, the mortgage company will not offer any assistance because his name is still on the mortgage, and they require his signature. Until a judge decides who gets the house, we are stuck. Government programs won’t help for the same reason—his name is still attached. He refuses to sign a quitclaim deed, is not paying child support, and is actively doing everything he can to make sure she loses everything.

There are also court dates, court-mandated therapy appointments, and the ongoing cost of rebuilding a life after abuse.

We are working on ways to increase our income, but none of those solutions will happen fast enough to keep us from losing our home. She needs more help than I can provide on my own.

I’m asking for help—humbly and honestly. If you’re able to give, please know that every single dollar helps keep a roof over these children’s heads. If you can’t give, sharing this or keeping us in your prayers means more than you know.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and for standing with a mother who chose safety for her children, even when the cost was everything.