My name is Alexandra, and I'm trying to rebuild my life after the violent loss of my 11-year-old son, Callan.

I never imagined I would find myself asking strangers for help, but today I am asking for help with basic living expenses, supporting the grandmother who has opened her home to me, and creating a memorial that honors Callan from the perspective of his mother.

On April 13, 2026, my son, Callan, was taken from this world in an act of violence that changed my life forever.

Since that day, I have been trying to survive a reality I never imagined a parent could face.

Twelve days after Callan died, I drove from Quincy back to my hometown of Merced. Shortly afterward, I was arrested and booked into the Merced County Jail. While I was incarcerated, I was told that decisions regarding my son's remains were made without my participation. By the time I was released, I was informed it was too late for me to be involved.

On May 13, I received a portion of my son's cremated remains in a small box inside a paper bag.

No parent prepares for a moment like that.

In the weeks that followed, I continued trying to find ways to honor my son and grieve alongside those who loved him. On May 26, I attended a celebration of Callan's life hoping simply to be present as his mother. I was not allowed inside and left without being able to participate.

There have been other decisions surrounding Callan's memorial and final resting place that have been deeply painful for me. While I recognize that everyone is grieving in their own way, I am still trying to find an opportunity to honor my son from the perspective only his mother can have.

At the same time, I have been navigating ongoing legal proceedings that have prevented me from returning to work and have created overwhelming financial strain. Between court appearances, transportation, housing instability, and the everyday expenses of rebuilding my life, I have fallen further behind than I ever imagined possible.

Today I am staying with my grandmother. She welcomed me into her home without hesitation during the darkest season of my life. She lives with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis and is recovering from walking pneumonia, yet she continues to offer me patience, encouragement, unconditional love, and more hugs than I can count.

One of my greatest hopes is to relieve the financial burden my presence has placed on her. She has never asked me for anything in return, but I know that helping with household expenses is one small way I can thank her for carrying me when I couldn't carry myself.

I have my son with me.

No, it's not the same.

Nothing could ever be.

But I still have a responsibility to live a life that honors his memory, and right now I need help finding my footing so I can do exactly that.

 Asking for help is one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I cannot rebuild my life alone.

Your generosity will help me:

1. Maintain stable housing while I get back on my feet.
2. Help compensate my grandmother for the expenses she has so graciously absorbed.
3. Cover transportation, court-related obligations, and essential living expenses.
4. Create a memorial and celebration of Callan's life that reflects the immeasurable love I have always had for my son.

I am not asking anyone to choose sides. I am simply asking for the opportunity to begin rebuilding a life that was shattered and to honor my son in my own way.

I cannot change what has happened. I cannot get back the time I lost or the moments I will never have with Callan. What I can do is choose how I move forward.

I want to rebuild my life in a way that would make him proud. I want to become stable again, give back to the grandmother who has carried me through the darkest chapter of my life, and create a place where my son's memory is honored with love, dignity, and peace.

If you are unable to donate, I completely understand. Sharing this fundraiser, saying a prayer, or simply speaking Callan's name means more to me than I can express.

Thank you for seeing me not only as someone who knew how special Callan was, but as the person he finally found the courage to call "Mom."

For Callan West—always.