Hello, everyone.

I am a 22-year-old university student who is currently unemployed due to certain circumstances, and I'm very reserved and overwhelmed when it comes to sharing my private details. But I am in desperate need of help, so I will share my story.

I'm an immigrant from a developing country, and I've always dreamt of a better life for myself. With everything, I've always taken a lot of interest in education and deep learning. I've always done great in school despite the constant problems I had on my path—neglect from peers, bullying, toxic family, and constant health issues. Despite all these problems, I still never gave up on my enthusiasm for learning and education.

After 16, things started going downhill as curriculums got more difficult to understand. I still somehow managed to score an average grade, but my comprehension abilities held me back. Due to so many changes in my life, I fell off due to depression and critical health issues with a lack of medical help while living in a developing country. I have moved from that toxic life, and I've also started to work on improving myself, but there are still some things that cannot be fixed with simple solutions no matter how hard you try.

I talked to one of my university's trusted members from the disability centre who happened to be one of my lecturers. She noticed my demeanour in class, and I told her about my inner monologue, how I never resonated with what peers around me resonated with, my learning background, and why I didn't fit in. She advised I get a consultation for autism/Asperger's syndrome, as there were many noticeable signs of it.

To be honest, I had heard of autism before (mostly in a stereotypical context), but never in my life had I ever thought I could be on the spectrum. So, I took free online tests, did my research, and looked into the topic more thoroughly. It was almost like I was discovering new things about myself.

At first, I was in disbelief. But after looking more into it, I started reading new pages in my life. I resonated with so many things highlighted in the research—comprehension difficulties, sensory issues, fidgeting, socialization problems, hypersensitivity, hyperfixations, and more. It felt like I was having an ego death as I went through articles and videos of people sharing their stories. I genuinely sat there and cried my heart out, relating to them and mourning what my life could have been, all the help I could have gotten, if only people realized my brain is wired this way. Even if it may not be autism and turns out to be another neurodivergent condition, it still weighs really heavy on my chest.

I've tried talking to my parents and explaining my situation, but they can't help because the required assessment is expensive and out of their budget. I completely understand considering our family's background, so I can't blame them or expect anything from them as an adult.

I want to experience life too. I want to feel normal for once without someone looking at me like I'm a freak. So I decided to take matters into my own hands. At first, I thought I could get a job and save up, but it's so hard to get a job here with little experience, and I seem to be making mistakes everywhere I go.

As my last resort, in my desperation to make my life better and be accepted for who I am, I've decided to ask for help. I opened this fundraising account so I can gather enough donations for my official assessment. I want to experience the greater good in life. I want to feel like I deserve the things I want, to be able to express my identity without being looked down upon.

I am not the type of person to ask for help or ask for things from people, but I am in a deep rabbit hole of despair and misery right now, and this is my only ladder left.

Please help me.