Strange to create a "me" fundraiser. During my 62 years on this planet, I'm usually the first to donate and help others. My parents and Catholic upbringing reinforced that. Help others. As a native Houstonian, helped people during storms, natural disasters, and as a Katrina Red Cross Volunteer. For 20 years, helped people survive or thrive during divorce, cancer, suicide, violent crime, and homicide. I help people.

This time, I'm asking for help. Hard to do. Financially responsible and self-sufficient my entire life since age 24. Hit bad luck boulders during Covid (2020-2022) when my income got cut 70% and I didn’t qualify for Pandemic money. They needed tax returns. IRS hadn’t processed mine before closing their offices due to Covid. Had to leave my Arizona home Nov 2020. Couldn’t afford it. Arizona Rent Moratoriums not enforced then. Haven’t had a home since. Haven’t been happy since.

Seeking a Hand Up, not a Hand-Out.

Goal: Physical proof that God and Good Still Exist on Earth. Financial help to get a home again (rent not own). Enough money for move-in costs and first month rent. A place of my own. Get a dog. Yard to plant flowers. Friendly neighbors. Root again. Restart Counseling career. Remove my depression. Trade-In current 2021 car ($720/mo) for an older, cheaper model (2008-2015). Restore my Faith in Humanity. Help People again. Create a true success story that inspires people. Become an inspiration for others again.

Last 6 years, constant challenges out of my control. Worked at rebuilding my life. Worked lots of jobs, while hopping place-to-place 20 different times. Saved money then an emergency happened & back to Square 1. Two steps forward. Three steps back.

These past 3 years were hardest. Less work options at age 62. Got laid-off May 2025. 30 days after buying a new car (2021 model). Haven’t found job since. No matter how often I search and send applications. Last 14 months. Guess I "aged out" of workforce. When I need steady work the most. Rejected.

I’m out of options now and out of “life juice.” Next life step: Living on the streets or under a bridge. My landlord kicks me out in August because I can’t afford $400 monthly rent. Strangely, I’m OK with that. I shouldn’t be. That means I’m in severe depression; don’t care about my life anymore.

I wasn’t always like this. Pre-Covid, I was self-sufficient for 30 years and learned to rise above challenges. Had a stable beautiful home of my own, at least one dog, a career I loved and a few friends. I kept a beautiful yard and house. Often winning “Yard Of The Month.” Proud of those days.

Since I was 26 (in 1990) through 2021, whenever I had extra money, I anonymously "paid it forward". Before book and 2000 Movie "Pay It Forward" were conceived. My parents and Catholic Church taught me that. Raised to give and help since age 6. My alma mater Texas A&M University also taught that: Give Back to Community.

At least twice a month, I “paid it forward” anonymously. Paid tolls for 2 cars lined behind me at Houston highway toll booths. When sitting at a Drive-Thru food joint, paid meal-ticket for the car behind me. When someone needed help on the road, I stopped. When I noticed a stray animal or big piece of trash on road, I stopped and picked it up.

Why? I spent most of my life feeling invisible and that my life didn't matter. I didn't want other people feeling that way. I didn’t want a family separated from their pet. I didn’t want someone running over a big piece of trash that could damage their car – or cause a wreck. Why wait for the police when you can do it yourself? I saw something and did something.

After my parents died (2016 & 2017), leaving me completely orphaned with no family or connections on Earth, I paid for strangers’ family dinners at Cracker Barrel. Cracker Barrel was my parents' favorite restaurant. When none of us wanted to cook, we went to Cracker Barrel. After their deaths, I'd eat there to remember our times together and love them.

While eating alone, I looked for a family like ours. Or a Mom or daughter who seemed like me. While paying my bill at register, I paid theirs too. Then I left. Anonymous.

I didn't want a "thank you". That would reverse the "giving & receiving" energy. I wanted people to believe in God and the goodness of humanity. Wanted people to believe Good and God still existed on this planet. Why?

I know the importance of family and Faith in God. I was basically orphaned at age 24. God got me through it. In August 1988 - my 26-yr-old brother and 20-yr-old sister were murdered at my family's shop in Houston TX. Two weeks after my college graduation.

From that day through next 30 years, my parents were physically present but emotionally & spiritually absent. They were too overcome with grief to re-open their closed hearts and souls. Until the day they died in 2016 & 2017.

Mom was so engulfed with grief, that when family asked about me, she said "Robin's fine. I'm not." Then she talked about how much she missed Mark and Kara. I was an after-thought at best. Nobody in family checked on me for over 30 years. They focused on Mom. I was invisible.

The murders broke my parents: heart, mind, body, soul and financially.

Since 1988, I've been on my own. With no help from my parents, family, friends or men. No help when I had trouble with men or jobs. No help when diagnosed with Stage 2 Breast Cancer in 1996 & 2021. God helped. He kept my body breathing & healed the cancer. God reminding me to live a healthy lifestyle.

For 30 years, my parents were "out of life juice". I understood them - then. Even more so now. That's where I'm at. "Out of Life Juice."

In 2011, Mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lymphoma. I created a FB group to help her. She and Dad lived in Texas. I was in Arizona.

In 2015, Dad got dementia. I moved from Arizona back to Houston to help them both. Became Dad’s caregiver because Mom was overwhelmed. March 2016, Dad died. Then Mom’s cancer returned. I took care of her until her dying day. She lived with me at my Houston house until she died November 2017.

God & Family. Always my first priorities since 1970s.

After Mom’s death, I felt completely alone and lost. For two straight years. As usual, family didn’t call to check on me. Expected. Had no boyfriend, spouse, or best friend. My best friend since 1977, died at same time as Mom. His Living Memorial party happened 2 hours after Mom’s funeral. Left Mom's after-burial "social party" I created for her family and friends - and drove 2 hours to his "living" party across town. That’s the type of luck I have.

Bruce died of liver cancer at age 54, 3 weeks after Mom's funeral and his Living Memorial party. He left a wife and 2 amazingly grown kids. His legacy lives on. He was the last person who knew me and my history.

Originally, I hired a Priest to officiate Mom's funeral. Priest called night before the event: "Sorry Robin. Can't make it. I'll officiate her burial. Not the service." I had to "officiate" my own mother's funeral! Also, the luck I have. During her service, the video projector broke. I created video of her life in photos. Spent 8 hours on it. Video projector broke! Of course! I had to help fix it. All I wanted to do: be still, sit in the pew, cry, and listen to people speak. Nope. Had to "work". God's little experiment. That's me!

After Mom's death, I felt the most empty I ever felt since my last miscarriage/tubal pregnancy in 1996. Untethered, foggy-headed, unmotivated, un-rooted to Earth. Sleepwalking for 2 solid years. Very few friends stopped by. I couldn’t “be there” for them as they needed or wanted me to be. They didn't know how to console me. I was “barely there”. Family didn’t call. Then my 16-yr-old dog died. Few months after Mom. I felt lonelier, emptier. Sometimes didn't eat or sleep. Completely empty. Worse than post-murders.

By February 2020 (27 months post-Mom death), I slowly climbed out of the darkest grief stage. Then Covid hit. People went crazy. Doing stupid things. I lost faith in humanity. Started dating again to find “my man.” Found a wonderful man. We dated for 6 months. I loved him. Then he stopped wanting me. I started losing my money. He walked away. He didn’t care about me. I was 56 years old. Still a pretty girl. Woke up from grief to meet "my man". Instead, another heartache experience from a man. I stopped caring about life. What's the point?

Every day, I ask God “Why did you put me on Earth? What do you want me to do for You? Why am I still here?” My life has been very hard. Especially last 3 years. I think of suicide often.  I can’t suicide. It’s against the rules of God and our souls.

I know God exists. I know Good exists. I practice Good with others. I share my God Light with others whenever I can. I'm out of juice now. Need God Light to shine on me - through others' actions. We live in God-Less society nowadays. Prove me wrong. That's why I created this fundraiser. See if God and Good still exist on Earth.

Thank you for reading this.