Well my story is hard for some to hear and asking for help is extremely hard for me because I know there are many others out there who have had it worse.

I was raised to work hard and had to pay rent at home by 9 years old. I was always told to look after others and to not think about myself that I didn’t matter. I grew up in a physical and emotionally abusive environment. I really had no person in my corner that I could rely on. I struggle day to day with myself because I’m terrified to just ask for help I have no one because I’ve lost so many good friends, good people that came into my life if only for a short time then they were gone way to soon and I felt there was something wrong with me that if I would just stay away nobody else would be taken. No one would hurt. So I put my head down and worked hard but then was taken advantage of because I was always willing to drop what I was doing to be helpful to others because I really wanted to believe in humanity. I have a 12 year old daughter and I want for her to see the best in people I want her to not feel her light needs to be dimmed for others to feel safe I want her to know light is a safety in itself because with light we see, light can guide us down rough and winding path because we can see what lies in it.

I just find myself in a rut wishing for a change to a simple life where I can make an impact in the world and live quietly. I’m trying to find my purpose, I love farming. No I’ve never had the opportunity to own property although that is the dream one day. I’ve worked on many farms and ranches.

I’ve been without work for the past 3 years, I take any work I can find but it’s not helping I just continue to fall behind, I feel as though I am drowning with no chance to come up for air. We live pretty simple we have no need for much other than the necessities. But I am in debt and it keeps growing I’ve only been able to keep up on minimum payments but that does nothing when the next bill comes around and my payment is eaten up by the interest. I’ve shredded credit cards and sold all I can and that eased things for a bit. But now I am at a loss as of what to do next. Anything helps.