Goal:
USD $8,500
Raised:
USD $845
Campaign funds will be received by Kristy Harris
A year ago today I received the call that I dreaded for so long, my ex husband and father of my two sons passed away.
He was a handsome and kind man with a big heart who, tragically, lost his battle to addiction with the aid of fentanyl. We had to part ways a decade ago when it became clear the mental illness and addiction was stronger than his ability to stay on the path of living our lives together and raising our beautiful boys in a healthy and safe environment.
I had to make the most difficult decision in my life and ask him to leave our home until he was able to get sober on his own and for himself this time since supporting and trying to help him in his fight would always end up being a temporary fix. Loving an addict can be a struggle for a partner, but detrimental for the kids to see the repeating cycle of fear and grief.
Reality may have been obvious, but I never fully lost the hope that one day he would show up at our house clean and sober by his own strength and not just long enough to smooth out the troubles like we had been through so many times before.
It always seemed like there would be more time, that our children will see and reconnect with their dad again. So when that call came in, my grief and regret of not trying harder to find a way to keep him in their lives set in.
Our boys got to speak to him over the phone on a regular basis at first but after a year it became obvious the weight of that fear, sadness, and confusion the boys would feel after those calls were hurting them too much. After I found our oldest, who was only 12 at the time, having a panic attack because he could not understand anything his dad was saying, we had come to an agreement that he would only call when sober. Unfortunately it wasn’t long until the calls were down to a few every year.
As the boys got older, one already graduating high school, I promised them I would find a way to get them down to Southern California to see their dad again. I was too late.
My heartache and guilt for failing them in that was too strong, so in an attempt give them some closure and one last chance to say goodbye, I decided to work with family down south to help plan a funeral and viewing by any means possible. Those means came by way of a credit card I managed to get and keep at a zero balance for 2 years, after 5 years of building my credit back up after our separation. It’s a choice I will never regret, the comfort they got from seeing their dad’s family and old friends who shared wonderful stories of all the great times with Gary was worth the debt. Even if it is one that I will continue to make payments on until my own time comes.
I’ve heard so many stories about people in tough times turning to places like this in hopes to find a little relief. I have no expectations, especially since already I feel so shameful asking strangers, (who don’t even owe me the time it would take to get this far into our life story) for financial assistance. But it has been a year since I charged the expenses and I have barely made a dent in the balance after interest. Since I am still trying to save up enough to take them both back down to retrieve and spread their fathers ashes at his families property connected to Joshua Tree Monument, I figure it wouldn’t hurt too much to try and hope for the best, or even just a step closer.
I appreciate anyone who took the time to hear me out, with or without a donation.
Please tell those you miss you are thinking of and love them.
Thank you so much.
Kristy Harris
Sorry for your loss. Prayers for you and your boys.
May God bless your family with comfort
Sorry for your loss. May God bless you and your sons.
God bless you and your boys.
I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with your family.
What lucky boys to have such a strong loving mother! .Don’t ever be afraid to ask for help and God bless you and your boys 💕
Sorry for your lost.
Follow this campaign to get email notifications when the campaign owner posts an update.
Click the Pray button to let the campaign owner know you are praying for them.