Hello everyone my name is Amanda for the last 15 years of my life I have sadly been in drug addiction. In that 15 years I have lost family friends three spouses among countless close calls myself. Not really sure what changed but finally there was a desire in me to stop living that way and I'm clean for the first time since I was 19 years old. I have nothing legal system unfortunately and have learned numerous lessons that didn't break the addiction but something is finally shifted in me and we're currently live everywhere I go every time I leave the house I run into someone that I used to do drugs with because of that although I am still clean at this point I need to relocate desperately however because of the fact that I have been a drug addict unfortunately I don't have a savings! As you know without a savings is almost impossible to secure housing considering everywhere wants first month last month and deposit rent to move in and then on top of that you also have to turn on the electricity and the water and in most places especially when you're a recovering drug addict like I am you have to pay a deposit for the electricity to be turned on usually amounting anywhere between 300 to $500 just for that.
During the course of my addiction I had two daughters named Aubrey and Veronica and they are beautiful young ladies I am lucky to have the pleasure to still have in my life although I did give them to my parents legally. My parents have told me that if I can relocate and I can get a fresh start and I can have 6 months under my belt being clean that they will really let me back into my daughter's lives and that truly is the heart of all of this necessity being clean and sober it definitely feels right finally. However the real motivating factory in this is to be able to do what my parents require so that I can get my kids back in my life. They are my everything finally I hate to say that for years unfortunately it has been drugs that were my everything and let me be very clear when I tell you it was not one substance but any and every substance I was abusing. Sadly my life didn't go as planned and has a teenager I was raped and started smoking pot and taking your pills and from there there was no stopping it. The idea of altering my mind safe to forget the things that I didn't want to think about became the driving force in my life and now that I'm clean I am active in online therapy as well as an actual physical therapist that I see once a week I would see them more if I could afford it however they are helping me cope with the things I've been running from including losing three spouses to two suicides in an overdose I found two of these three losses and when I say that it is incredibly devastating I don't know how to put it into words because a part of me died with each of them and if I had any sense I would have stopped running to drugs but turned to the people that I had left because I have missed so much of my girls' lives there they'll be 13 and 10 this year and I am desperate to start this year off right of their lives considering their birthdays are September 6th and October 9th I would like this year to finally be able to be at least a friend to them I know that they weren't immediately look to me as their mother I would never try to force that on them but I personally need them in my life in any shape form or fashion that they are willing to have me and hopefully in time the longer I am stable and sober the closer they will become with me. I am very desperate to have my children in my life again and so I have found a place about an hour and a half from my current residence which meets my parents criteria and is still close enough that I can see them I currently do not have a car so sadly some of the funds I'm raising is not just for the relocation but in order to be able to be mobile as well I just need a cheap car I don't need anything fancy I just need something that I can work that can drive back and forth to see my girls into and from the job that I am going to a game in the new location. I am lucky enough to be able to say that I work in cosmetology and there is always someone looking to have their hair style cut shampooed as well as needing manicure and other facial treatments.
So I'm reaching out to everyone people possibly read this desperate plea for help! Please help me because I really do need to relocate if I stay here I can't guarantee my sobriety because there are too many triggers any of you that have ever struggled with drugs addiction understand that please help me.
Amanda Marie Hutchins