It’s 4:30am and yes—I’m already awake. Not because I’m spiraling anymore, but because I now voluntarily wake up at 4am like some kind of recovering psychopath to get on a bus for 2.5 hours to treatment.

Growth is weird.

Every day I show up to IOP, therapy, counseling, doctor’s appointments—you name it. I even go to NA meetings (shoutout to the Rose Drive crew 👏), and I joined a sober softball team… which feels like something that would’ve made me laugh 6 months ago, but here we are.

And today?

I am 92 days clean.

Yeah. I know. You can clap.

Because not that long ago, my life looked VERY different.

We’re talking:

-4 years of homelessness

-Arrests (just got my warrant cleared 🙃)

-Sleeping in the rain

-Starving

-Losing my car, my job, and honestly… my mind

-Fentanyl and meth running the show

-Dropping to 88 pounds (I’m normally 160, so yeah… not ideal)

-Almost dying from MRSA on my face (0/10, do not recommend)

-Constant infections

-And now I need 9 teeth pulled because addiction is expensive in the worst ways

So no, I didn’t just “have a rough week.”

But also—let’s be clear about something:

I didn’t wake up one day and think,

“Hmm… you know what sounds fun? Completely destroying my life.”

That wasn’t the plan.

Before all of this, I was a good mom. I graduated college. I had my life together. I was the one quietly judging other people like, “couldn’t be me…”

LOL.

Life said: “Oh babe… just wait.”

Addiction doesn’t care who you are. It doesn’t check your background or your intentions. It just slowly wrecks everything while convincing you it’s helping.

Rude.

But even at my worst?

I was still fighting.

I’ve saved people from overdosing. I’ve built real friendships. I’ve seen things most people never will. Some beautiful, some absolutely insane.

And somehow, I made it out.

Not gracefully. Not perfectly. Definitely not quietly.

But I made it.

Now I’m 92 days in, and I’m doing the real work: Showing up. Taking accountability. Making amends. “Cleaning up my side of the street” like a responsible adult who finally understands consequences (wild concept, I know).

But here’s the reality:

Starting over from absolute zero?

It’s not cute. It’s not easy. And it’s definitely not cheap.

So yeah—this is me asking for help.

Not because I’m giving up…

But because I’m finally doing things the right way.

Funds will go toward:

-A used car--I have someone amazing on my softball team who is selling his car....(5 hours on a bus is humbling, to say the least)

If you’ve ever had a bad day… just know I turned one bad day into a full-blown life detour.

So trust me when I say:

Be kind to people. You have no idea what they’re carrying.

And if you’re reading this thinking,

“… people can actually come back from that?”

Yeah. We can.

Messy. Loud. Slightly unhinged.

But stronger than ever.

If you can donate, thank you. Seriously.

If you can’t, sharing this means just as much.

And if you’re in a dark place right now—

Stay. Fight. Keep going.

Because if I can claw my way back from that chaos…

There’s hope for you too.

— Kari 💛