Here is my story,
I married my ex in 2010, we had 2 children together. Through the marriage I was always home with the family, playing with the children and coaching their sports. in 2019 my ex wife elected to move from the family home. She had leased a house in town unknown to me in June of 2019. She moved out in November, we continued to get along and stay friendly trying to make the separation easy on the kids. We agreed on a week on week off schedule with children so they could spend quality time with both parents. During the summer of 2020 a man showed up to my home with a folder and a story. We talked for several hours, during this time he informed me that my wife had been leading a double life since 2014 with a work college, and he was the man. His testimony and the items in the folder proved everything. I had no idea, I gave her my total faith and trust. I didn't say a word to her for more than two months after I found out. Once I finally told her I knew about her 2nd life, things went off the rails and quick. She pulled my son from his baseball team of 3 years because I was a coach. I finished the season with the team because I cared about all of the boys on the team. When she pulled him off the team, she kept my son and my daughter from me for more than 2 months with zero contact. Any communication her and I had during that time was her telling me she was going to ruin my life and the kids would have nothing to do with me. I resorted to going to the school during their lunch to see and speak with them. It got to the point I had to leave notes so they knew I cared. It wasn't until the courts granted temporary orders giving us equal parenting time that I could see the kids. Although things got better with the children, things continued to regress horribly with my ex wife. Through this process she promised to ruin my life and lives of anyway I chose be involved with. She held true to her word, although her attempts to ruin my relationships with the kids and others did fall short, I chose not to be angry, bitter and understand that although I may be struggling severely financially, that I could indeed live with myself and my actions. I just have to deal with the issues her infidelity caused, she would have to live with her actions and we will all be judged one day. Tens of thousands of dollars later in attorney fees, 6 figures to keep my home, and an exurbanite amount from retirement I am divorced and have "semi" shared parenting. Anyone who has been through this can testify, if you are a man, responsible with finances, plan for the future of the family, and an all around good person, you will be biased against by divorce courts. Not only did she get the huge settlement, but I also have to pay her 2k per month. This is the all too common tail of the good get punished for the actions of the wicked. Most of my fight was to just have the ability to keep being a father to my children. I am simply asking the community to find it in themselves to ease my financial struggle. My struggles were causes by me having faith and trust in another person who became a bitter and lead the double life for more than 6 years, all the time taking advantage of me and using me as a baby sitter and pay check. She then took nearly everything I own attempting to force me to sell the family home because she didn't want the kids to enjoy their home and life with me. I am currently scraping by and providing the best life I can for myself and kids.
I can say however that if you stay the course, keep your moral compass pointing north, don't let yourself get bitter and continue to have faith in people, good things will happen. Although my divorce took several years, I was able to meet a wonderful woman with a beautiful soul. She has been supportive and patient with the whole process. I only bring this up to show that although we may get burnt, we can and should still have faith in people.
Divorce courts are anything but fair and certainly not about justice. There is a terrible bias towards men and an even more bias against responsibility. I have all the documentation and proof that everything I did was honest and in an effort to shield the children from the horrible consequences of divorce. I am only asking for relief in my attorney fees, and over an above I may receive will be put right back into the give send go community.