I know there are always going to be struggles, I grew up being raised in a family of five with a single mom working as a waitress to provide, without hardly any help from my Dad.  I also know there will always be others struggling more than is, however times are overwhelming for my family to say the least. I'm not sure how to begin, but I'll try to paint a picture in as few words as possible. 

My husband and I have been married for almost 23 years, and we have 11 children. We started out our marriage with a desire to trust God in all ways, including our families size.  He has always been faithful to provide, but there have been a few times when that meant we had to accept the gift of alms from others. It's been humbling, but I've had to remind myself of the scripture were God exhorts those with the gift of giving to give generously.  I had already learned this as a child when my mom had to accept help a few times.

We decided a few years ago based on my thyroid health struggles, my daughter's autoimmune issues, our daughter with a heart defects needs, and our little boy Jack with Down Syndromes needs as well, to move out to the country on a few acres and try to provide better food by using our skills as homesteaders. 

Things went pretty well at first, although it wasn't without difficulty.  We were able to garden, keep chickens, keep bees, and a little dairy cow. Things started to go down hill I think when we struggled with our water supply, which continues to be a problem. 

Our well has a lot of sand, and some issues with supply.  I didn't realize what a problem sand can be until I saw my husband running ragged trying to fix sinks, washing machines, even coffee pots that were all clogged with sand. Also, trying to keep all the animals hydrated and our family as well has meant a lot of bottled water brought in.  We pushed on with no much discouragement knowing this was the lot of man to suffer like Christ.  

Next however, we had predator issues which killed a lot of poultry that we used for eggs, and planned on using for meat.  We were heartbroken that whatever was killing our poultry snapped there heads, and left them for dead....such a waste it seems.  At least we had our bees and our cows, a land flowing with milk and honey....until the bees got varo mites, and our fencing issues, and lack of safe pasture meant no more milk either, troubles everywhere...except the garden, which is fenced over 20 feet to keep safe from anything getting in and destroying things, which our cows did last year.

My son at this point said, "I think this place is cursed and you should move," except we can't, because in this state no one would want to move here, especially since we're struggling with a very moist basement with all this rain, and you know what that means mold, no one wants a house with mold, and of course is no good for us either.

Well maybe what we can do is just focus on my husband's remodel and repair business so we can save up and fix the issues on the homestead.  Only that seems to be ridden with problems as well.  His truck has had to be towed several times, and he's lost days of work trying to repair it to save mechanic fees. Also, he's had a piece of equipment that he used quite often to help him in his work break down, and it will costs thousands to have it replaced or the engine repaired.

To top things off, our family vehicles, one for myself, and the other for my older daughters to get back and forth to work, both have major issues: transmission, and the catalytic converter. We're currently borrowing a friends van, which makes me nervous to use.. considering how things have been going.

To top it off our AC went out, which it has been doing frequently so I'm pretty sure we'll have to do without until we can afford to get that repaired or replaced. I know we can live without that, it just makes me concerned about the mold issues, and my families ability to handle our situation with virtue, and on a more practical note the refrigerator can't handle heat, and our food it spoiling fast, and we have a fly infestation because of our badminton screens.