My life sucks. Everyday I wish I was dead. I'm too afraid to actually kill myself so I go through life hoping something bad will happen to me, then everything can finally end. So much is wrong.. My family isn't close with me, my mom died when I was young. My dad tried killing himself so he's been in a group home since then. My brothers a alcoholic.. he would rather get drunk then spend time with me. I only have a couple friends and all of them happen to be in love with me. I'm sure once they finally accept I won't be with them they won't want me in their life either. I feel so alone every single day. I want to runaway and not tell anyone where I am. Unfortunately that costs money I don't have. My own bf doesn't care about me either.. I moved away from my hometown to be with him and it seems like he can't do anything in return for my happiness. Recently he got a new car, after telling me for months on end that we would move. His excuse was he needed a better car to get to work if we were gonna move. Then it came time for our lease to end and he said hes gonna stay here, he doesn't want to move. He constantly tells me he's broke however he bought a new car, and always buys whatever else he wants. Then says he wants me to start working. Even if it's a online job. I suffer from Fibermielga, Depression, and Anxiety.. thats why I dont have a job myself. However he makes 26 a hour, he can easily afford to support me.. but instead he chooses to waste his money, and stay in a run down apartment. The hot water leaks, so we have to turn it off. The pipes freeze in winter. There is so much I hate about this apartment and he doesn't care to improve our lives. Yet he claims he loves me.. I swear I'm only here for the dog. If I leave she has to go back in a crate all day while he works and that breaks my heart. I can tell the dog loves me more because she's always with me, even when he's here. I basically feel stuck because of the dog. I know people say I need to leave and do what's best for me, but unfortunately it's not that easy. I'm mentally exhausted.. I'm tired of being depressed, stressed out and angry everyday of my life. The worst part is my boyfriend constantly asks me whats wrong, when he already knows he's the problem. Everything about him and this apartment aggravates me. I hate it here and he knows that, but he doesn't care to change anything to better things. He doesn't emotionally support my needs. Can't financially support me. This doesn't feel like a relationship, sadly it hasn't for quite some time. I feel like were strangers tolerating each other day to day. I don't know how much more I can handle or what I'm supposed to do. Everything sucks and I just want to feel happy for once.. why is my happiness not important to anyone? Why am I not enough? I need to know things will get better, i can't continue to live like this. My soul can't take it. So there you have it, this is my life. I really hope someone will donate, I need the money to get out of this situation. Any amounts are greatly appreciated. I would be forever grateful. Thank you for your time and I hope you can help make a difference.